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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Now, the river, oh the sneery little river called Liden, meandering past the industrial zone. It’s maddeningly pretty in a tragic way – kind'a like the bloody landscape in Brokeback Mountain. I often wander its banks, musing on the irony of life. There’s a small bridge, Brobæk Bridge – yeah, I made that up, but it fits right in with the reckless romance... or something!

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